o.T. graphite on wall. handtorn papers. books. 2012
Four years ago in Summer.
I have just finished an installation including a drawing on the wall repetiting one of Hölderlin ́s sentences „There live sun and air and earth and their children extraneous around one another, these lonesomes, as if they didn ́t belong each other.” The wall is facing some stacks of handtorn empty papersheets that were filled by time and thought and include old books with titles that could tell everything and nothing (such as „Beauty“, „Philosophy“, „Greek“, „Nostradamus“, „Healing Methods“…) but won ́t help against the feeling that Hölderlin was having more than 200 years before me having it.
After a few months of working and thinking in isolation I sit down and light a candle. At 00:00 o a huge bat comes flying through my atelier window. It surrounds the installation, it is a mystical moment, first thrilling and then calming, adoring this creature flying in perfect circles. At 00:05 it leaves through the window again. The next day one of the stacks –Philosophy- has fallen apart. What could this tell? Is this my art falling apart? Is it Philosophy falling apart? Is it my world falling apart?
I don ́t know. I have many questions. I have no answers. However, one year after the bat, I quit my old life by leaving everything behind that I had tried to believe in. I started to learn how to convert energy.
I read about power animals two years later. Old Shamans believe: If a Bat comes into your life, it will change your thinking and question the life you are living right now.